


Bad Ideas

by PinkRangerV



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkRangerV/pseuds/PinkRangerV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sabertooth thinks Logan's gone soft. So he tries to take a hostage.</p><p>It doesn't end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Set just after 'Mutant Crush'.

If there was one thing Sabertooth knew, it was that the runt was getting soft.

 

Hanging out with a bunch of _pipsqueaks_ at a _school_ ; training them and not even giving a smack when they screwed up; sticking near that old crippled professor of theirs. Wolverine was just asking for a beatdown. All Sabertooth had to do was slip in a window, steal some kid--

 

* * *

 

“Uh, I don't think...” Jean started carefully. Because getting called in the middle of the night and informed that Rogue had Sabertooth laid out on the floor would make _anyone_ cautious.

 

“Oh no ya don't, missy.” Rogue said firmly, shoving Jean into her room. “We are _workin_ ' on that attitude of yours, or you're gonna end up dead in the streets one of these days.” Jean thought she caught a muttered comment along the lines of that being preferable to dying herself, but let that go. “Anyway, I ain't saving your butt no more, so get in there and--”

 

Jean gasped. Sabertooth was, in fact, hogtied and unconscious on the floor.

 

No wonder Rogue was hairy.

 

“Finally. Okay, now, this is practice, Red.” Rogue said, making her way almost noiselessly around Jean. “So. We've neutralized the threat, but ya gotta remember, he's a guy. We gotta make this lesson _stick_. So how do we do that?”

 

...It was a horrible idea that crept into Jean's mind.

 

...Still, he deserved it.

 

“Well...” Jean said, a grin spreading across her face as she pulled a small wallet out of her pocket, “We can always do some makeup...”

 

* * *

 

When Sabertooth woke up, his face was caked in makeup, his hair was dyed pink, and his clothes had been...creatively altered.

 

There was a small note next to him, made of cut-out magazine letters.

 

_Thanks for the training, asshole!_

 

Sabertooth growled.

 

* * *

 

Okay. Take two.

 

This time he managed to lure away one of the boys—a small furry blue thing—for a good five minutes with a fake food truck before a little girl had come up, spouted off the most annoying babble he'd heard, and dragged him away.

 

Sabertooth was going to kill Wolverine on principle anyway, but this was what was going to make it _special_.

 

* * *

 

Finally he got one.

 

It was a lot easier once he smelled that damned mix of makeup and shampoo—it was the same scent as one of the two who'd made him up earlier. She was older than the other kids, red hair, bit of fight but not much.

 

All he had to do was--

 

* * *

 

Jean wasn't entirely sure what had happened, thanks to her concussion. The others described it as 'an epic beatdown'--well, the younger ones did, and Scott just sort of winced. He'd seen the damage.

 

On the other hand, Logan was now training Rogue, Jean, and Kitty specially in how to do things like tear men's balls off with their bare hands.


End file.
